Letting Go of Life
1 Cor 1:26-31, 2 Cor 12:9-10
Often, we have a sense of what we ought to do, or the person that we want to become, or the life that we'd like to live. But we get stopped by a single two word phrase, but I, but I, but I don't think I can do it. I don't think it's in me. I want to work out and get in shape. I know I should, but I'm tired. It would be great to get into a small group and form deep, meaningful, authentic relationships, but I'm kind of introverted. I would love to live relaxed and confident, but I tend to worry too much. I know I ought to eat vegetables and tofu, but I love sugar and butter and bacon and men’s breakfast stuff.
Sometimes those two words get me out of something that I really don't want to do. Honey, would you listen to this conversation, but I'm not sure if I’ll understand. But I, is what we might call a defeater belief. It stops me not just from succeeding at what really matters. It stops me from even trying, I'll never even know because I just excuse myself with but I can't do it. And then to make things worse, sometimes I find out I'm not even competent in areas where I didn't know I wasn't competent. I tried to learn “chalk art” from a church pastor in MN. It was a disaster . . . But I . . . am not an artist!
It comes up in the Bible over and over again, but, usually as kind of an excuse when God calls somebody to do something. God says to Moses, I want you to go and confront Pharaoh. Moses says, but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue. God comes to Gideon and he says, Gideon I want you to deliver by people from the Midianites, and Gideon immediately says, but I am the least in my family. God comes to Jeremiah and wants him to bring His word to his people. Jeremiah be a prophet for me. But I do not know how to speak I'm only a child. Esther was asked to go and deliver the people from Haaman, a homicidal maniac. But I have not been called by the king for 30 days. God wants Abraham to become the father of a great people. But I'm too old. Jesus wants Peter to cast his nets on the other side of the boat. But I tried all night, over and over and over again.
We see these words in the Bible, and we see them in our own lives. You wake up in the morning, and you look at yourself and say, “I can’t stand the way I look!” My hair never goes right. My teeth aren’t straight. The wrinkles are so pronounced. One young lady, Chloe Cole, said “I look in the mirror sometimes, and I feel like a monster.” I don't want to. I can't. I can't confront. I can't speak. I can't teach. I can't lead. I can't have a child, can't heal, can’t obey, can’t overcome and sometimes this goes really deep.
Maybe it does for you today. I can't save my marriage. I can't put my family back together. I can't seem to control this habit. I can't seem to stop this addiction. I can't stop worrying. I can't come out of this depression. I can’t stop this rage. Now what's interesting is when we see similar statements in the Bible, God never disagrees. He doesn't say “Hey Moses, actually you're a pretty good speaker. Or “really Abraham, you're not all that old. You're in pretty good shape.” Humanly, we often respond that way. We often collude with each other in this denial of our inadequacy. No, no, no, you're amazing!
When we compare Paul’s letters to the church at Corinth with popular speeches, there is rhetorical a technique often used in the ancient world. And Corinth was a very competitive culture. It was a Roman colony and the center for trade and commerce, because it was a trade route, it was economically busy. They had a saying in Corinth, “only the tough survive.” And so, in this great city, there's this little ragtag band of Jesus followers, many of whom were slaves. Most of them would have ranked pretty low on the “adequacy scale.” The rhetorical advice that speakers and writers used to gain credibility with their audience was to include praise for them. Tell them how intelligent they are. Remind them they're influential, or powerful, or well educated or well born. That's what communicators are supposed to do to gain listeners’ favor.
With that as a backdrop, imagine how the Corinthians believers must have felt in that little church when they read Paul's description of them at the beginning of his letter. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called, that not many of you are wise by human standards. Not many were influential. Not many were of noble birth (1 Cor 1:26). Thanks a lot, Paul. He doesn't start out “Hey, Corinth! You got IQ! You got EQ! You got connections! You got resources! How lucky God was to have you sign up! You're killing it Corinthians!
No. He invites them to reflect on a review of their own personal inadequacy, even the celebration of that personal inadequacy. Hey, church at Corinth! How should we describe you? Wise? Nope. Influential? Nope. Great gene pool? No. But, Paul’s not troubled by this. The implication seems strange to us. He doesn't go on to say, therefore church, lower your expectations. Don't get your hopes up, because, you don't have much to begin with. He doesn't say, “Thank God, a few of you are rich and smart. You're the ones God's counting on to get stuff done.” No. He says to expect great things. Not because they have great things to offer to God, but because, God is up to something in this world, that nobody in this world could have expected. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. But, God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong (1Cor 1:27). But, God chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him (1Cor1:28-29). It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us, wisdom from God, that is our righteousness, our holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, let the one who boasts boast in the Lord (1 Cor 30-31). But God chose but God chose but God chose now in the Bible, those two little words, but God are of huge significance because they mean that there is a system in our world; there's a way that things run apart from God. And it's the rich and the smart and the strong, who tend to do well. While injustice and oppression and problems and sin get trapped in our inadequacy which overcomes all of us. There's a worldly trajectory in life, but now it has been interrupted with Jesus. Now something has come to turn the tide. Now, especially through Jesus, God's presence and God's power, God's Kingdom has become available for ordinary people to live in. These are the two words that over and over when you see them in the Bible, you want to note them because the big shift is coming, the great reversal. There the two words that are the turning point of this whole passage, and can be the turning point of any human life. Whatever you're facing today, but God, but God is now doing here in Corinth. What God’s already done on the cross with Jesus, overturning expectations, elevating the lowly, changing death into life, taking what the world regards as abject failure, humiliation, the end of the ministry, and turning it into victory and resurrection.
So if you carry nothing else away today, I want us all to carry away these two words but God. But God means this world does not get the last word on who you can be or what you can do or how you will live. I can't, but God can. The world may say your situation will never change. The world may say your lack of education will always embarrass you, that addiction will always enslave you, that depression will always defeat you, that failure will always haunt you, that your future with all your weakness will stop you, that if you don’t do what we prescribe you might take your own life, but God thank God says otherwise. But God, says I beg to differ. And just like the phrase, but I is in the Bible over and over and over again, the phrase, but God gets used dozens of times in the Scripture. Joseph says to his brothers who sold him into slavery, you intended it for harm. But God, God intended it for good. The psalmist says, my flesh and my heart may fail. That is true. I am one of the inadequate ones, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Jesus said with human beings it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible. So, stop excusing yourself from God's calling on your life by whining about your inadequacy, but I, but I, but I, but I. I know that sounds odd, but I just don't know how else to say it. God is bigger than your butt. Of course, you're not smart enough. Of course, you're not strong enough! Of course, we're not good! Enough! But God has chosen the foolish and the weak, and the lowly and the meek and the timid and the poor, and the too loud, and the not very polished, and the troubled and the addicted, and the failed, and whatever else is going on in your heart or your job or your family, or with your money or with your children or with your health and it looks really bad. And I know, but God. I tell you that sin death, pain and hell are real. But, they are not final, because the power of the cross has not yet finished remaking this sorry world.
Corinthians scrambled for honor and rank and status. That was the number one occupation for people, and not just people at the top of the ladder. Cicero used to say that life is about honor. And rank must be preserved as well. That’s what life was about it. All the way down to even slaves. Slaves would rank themselves compared to other slaves to try to look like somebody. But God says otherwise. People look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. That does not mean there will not be pain in the future. There will. It means yes, pain comes, but God will have the eternal last word. Mourning may last through the night, but with God joy comes in the morning.
Now you might think well, Corinth of course had a lot of problems a lot of inadequate weak people. But surely, Paul had a lot of confidence in his own competencies in his own abilities. He was a brilliant man and a brilliant mind with unbelievable gifts. And his words get even stranger. In his two New Testament letters to the church at Corinth, he writes there were other wannabe leaders for the church. They're kind of self-proclaimed apostles. He actually calls them sometimes super apostles because their credentials were remarkable. They're trying to lure the little church away from Paul and Jesus. And they were trying to send a message that resembles how our world generally operates. They appeal to the strong and the powerful. They compare their ministry to Paul's, and they said they had greater visions. They said they could do greater miracles. As a result, they attracted financial backers. There were folks that would travel around speaking like Paul did. They were called Sophists, sophistry, wisdom. They were like motivational speakers in our day or life coaches. They would attract lots of money if they were good speakers. They become rock stars, drawing huge crowds to come out, and listen and support him.
And people in Corinth thought that's what Paul was. So, they expected Paul to act like those guys did. Paul is writing to win them back to Jesus and to Paul's message. So, everybody would expect Paul to list his ministry credentials and his achievements, because he had a lot of them. Here's how many souls I've saved, the churches I've planted, the sermons I preached, and letters I've written that, by the way, will end up in the New Testament of Scripture. Yet, he doesn't do any of that. How does he talk about himself?
He says I have been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely. been exposed to death again and again. He lists his failures, problems, rejections and anxieties. It is a celebration of personal inadequacy. Who does that? And the climax is in this, in order to keep me from being conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. In other words, apparently, Paul has a problem being conceited. Paul has got ego issues that threaten to destroy his character, and he tells everybody about this quite openly. His ego is so bad that he was given at some level in some way by God, a painful and shameful condition that involves quite dark suffering--a messenger from Satan. He calls it a thorn in the flesh and, and for many centuries, there have been all kinds of guesses trying to figure out what it was. Maybe it was a vision problem (Gal 6:11), epilepsy, depression or PTSD.
People would say that his letters were impressive, but when he came to speak, the rockstars were not very impressed. Maybe he's got a weight problem, but it was a source of ridicule and humiliation for Paul. And if that's not bad enough, he asked God to take his thorn away, and his prayers for thorn removal were denied. He is a failure! His prayers are a failure. These other super apostles are strong, successful, charismatic, eloquent, wealthy poster boys for God, living their best lives right now. Paul is a train wreck. He’s beaten, whipped 10 times, prone to conceit, a weak, self-confessed, thorn-carrying, prayer failure, who leads with those credentials?! Seriously Paul?
You understand how bizarre this would be? Why would anybody talk that way? One reason, two words, but God. He asked multiple times for God to take this thorn away, but I'm living with his pain, but I suffer, but I fail over and over, but I tend to be egotistical. But God, said to me My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. And Paul goes on with this strange cross shaped life and message . . . Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses (2 Cor 12:9) so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Is he crazy? Is he just making this stuff up to say something that will sound weird? Could a human being live this way? Could I for Christ's sake, delight in weaknesses? Delight in insults, hardships, in persecutions and difficulties, not because weakness or insults or hardships, or difficulties are good, of course not. But, because when I'm weak, then I’m strong. I've entered into another reality, another sphere of life where God is now doing through me what I could never do. Everyone has a calling—a calling to do what we cannot do! It may be to stretch out your shriveled hand in a church group. It may be to live with a thorn in your flesh. Everybody has a thorn. You have a calling, and you have a thorn. The question is whether we will say BUT I, or BUT GOD. And the answer you choose will determine the life that you live.
David Ronan, Ph.D.